Scanning the crowd of a typical cycling event we observe the multitude of dudes: with their guns freshly shorn and polished, their tanlines perfectly cultivated. They are ready to administer their enormous FTPs onto the race course. If we focus intently, we may be able to find a single female amongst the crowd – and even then, once we push through the masses to a distance near enough to converse with her, her treats from afar may be revealed to be afar from a treat. Once in a fortnight, however, a beautiful specimen will emerge from the mists, like the breath of a phoenix, playing from its ashes.

Thus we are faced with the impossible task of engaging one of these disinterested maidens, who not only has her pick of the litter of fabulously shaved, fit and handsome men, but also probably doesn’t want to talk to you, at all. But fear not, for we at VQ have unlocked the secrets to completing such a challenge. We now follow our brave hero, through this most daunting of tasks:

1. Relax and meditate on the insurmountable task at hand

Here is our fearless hero. Calm, poised, ready to embark on the impossible.

2. Once you have mustered the courage, make your approach, “guns a-blazin” style

Initially, there was a significant amount of confusion among the female contingent…

3. Fear not the fittest

…but eventually, even the Collegiate National Women’s Road Race Champion seemed to slightly appreciate his gesture.

4. GTFO

Great success! Lets get outta here!

We would like to thank our teammate, Frank Lao, for having the courage to display such courage. And to the women of the ECCC for putting up with his nonsense.

Read more “How To” Posts.